


Drabbles and Prompts: F-Zero edition

by Wombat (Superwombat6)



Series: Drabbles and Prompts [1]
Category: F-Zero (Video Games), Metroid Series
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Mostly fluff lol, Oneshot collection, this pairing is my weakness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-08
Updated: 2016-06-08
Packaged: 2020-04-12 15:56:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 4,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19135306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Superwombat6/pseuds/Wombat
Summary: And by F-Zero what I really mean is "F-Zero, except Samus is inserted in here so she and Captain Falcon can be snarky friends and occasionally lovers."These drabbles are pretty old, all of them inspired by a sentence prompt generator I've lost the link to. These were originally written just as writing exercises for myself, but ended up being something I'm quite fond of.EDIT: Hey look, I found it! http://writingexercises.co.uk/dialogue-generator.phpThank you, Ren, for digging this up again. This is a pretty good generator and I will most likely be using it again. Strongly recommend!





	1. Know when to quit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jody Summer is a strong woman and a capable investigator. Still, everyone has their limits.

**"Please don't argue. You have to leave right now, you aren't safe here."**

The hand Captain Falcon placed on Jody's shoulder was gentle, but firm. The inferno raged nearby, an abandoned factory set ablaze by Black Shadow. Falcon could understand her reluctance to leave an investigation unfinished, but with those injuries, trying to stand up to Black Shadow was practically suicide.

"I can take care of myself!" Jody snapped, though she wasn't entirely convinced. She certainly hadn't expected to find such a dangerous scene, and the burns along her right side stung badly. She had no backup, either -- not close by, anyway -- but her tenacity wouldn't let her give in. "There may be people in there, the fire may spread..."

"Go get help. I'll handle things for now," Falcon assured her. "You'll only get yourself in more trouble, and honestly, you'll just get in the way in that state."

Jody opened her mouth to argue, her irritation written all over her face. It was a couple of seconds before she forced words out. "In the way? You can't be--"

"Can you drive?"

The officer sighed, scowled and looked away. "Yeah, I think so."

Falcon nodded. "Good. Let's get you back to your machine before the fire gets worse. Contact the fire department, but warn them that Black Shadow may still be in the area."

Resigned to her fate for the next few hours, Jody nodded. "You got it. Don't get yourself killed in there."

"Are you kidding? It's _me_ we're talking about. I'll be fine."


	2. Not tourist friendly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Samus takes pity on some poor fool who found their way to Zebes. She finds his aesthetic sense lacking.

**"He was unconscious when I found him."**

Her voice was matter-of-fact, her face unreadable behind the green visor. The man draped over her shoulder was dressed in a dark blue flight suit, garish colors abundant throughout his outfit. Samus had absolutely no idea what this moron had been doing on Zebes, how he'd even found it, but it looked like he'd had a brush with the local fauna.

She had no idea who he was, but she'd managed to find his ship. At least, she assumed it was his ship, considering the garish design to match his own. There were assorted coordinates to be found in the guidance computer (once she'd cracked it, that is; it had impressive encryption). She'd picked one that seemed important, being toward the center of all the others, and flew her own ship there, the bird-like one in tow via tractor beam.

And now, she'd managed to find someone who knew something.

Actually, that hadn't been the hard part. It seemed the man -- absurdly called _Captain Falcon_ \-- had quite the reputation, both for good and ill. Simply asking around yielded answers, and soon she'd found a reliable doctor to bring the injured man to.

Dr. Stewart examined Falcon with concern. "And you found him where?"

"Planet Zebes. I don't expect you to know it."

"No, indeed I don't. I don't know that I've ever seen him like this -- not that he'd ever allow anyone to. He's a bounty hunter, but even in this dangerous line of work he never seems to get in over his head."

"That you know of. Going to Zebes was his mistake. What kind of bounty would he have been hunting there? It's a nearly abandoned planet, besides space pirates and monsters."

Stewart thoughtfully tapped a finger to his chin. "That, you'll need to ask him. The Captain lives a very secretive life outside of his F-Zero career. As far as I know, he exclusively hunts criminals."

"Hm. Let me know his progress -- I have a lot of questions for him."

"Of course. Just tell me where to reach you."

She paused. "Actually, don't worry about that. I'll stop in." She waved her hand dismissively and turned to go.

The doctor smiled wryly. "I'd have a few questions of my own, if it wasn't none of my business. But, I don't think you'd answer anyway."

Samus paused, a small smile of her own flitting across her masked face. "You'd be right, on both counts. I'll see you later, Doc."


	3. Try practicing self-preservation next time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two bounty hunters are set against each other, but both realize that something fishy's going on. Of course, neither this nor a thorough beating are enough to stop Captain Falcon from being insufferable.

**"I knew you wouldn't be able to see it through."**

He was smirking. There was blood running from his nose, a crack in his visor, and he was pinned to the ground, breathing hard. But he was _smirking._

Samus ground her heel harder into his chest, eliciting a grunt of pain from the Captain. "I don't need to kill you, I just need answers. That's 'seeing it through' enough to me." Honestly, she'd have no problem with just killing him now. Crush his windpipe, blast him with a charge shot, frankly it'd be easy. But something about this job struck her as very, very suspicious. "Why did you attack first? You clearly recognized me, despite having no connection to me."

Initially, Falcon grinned coyly. "I don't plan to-- _hhghk_ \--" Her boot had pressed harder, closer to the neck. "Okay, fine. Let's get this out of the way -- I know you're a bounty hunter. Well, so am I. And you, my friend--"

"Who hired you?" she snapped, not bothering to hear the rest. If he was anything like her, it would be very hard to pry this information out of him.

Sure enough, his face set hard, and the hand he'd laid uselessly on her foot began to push harder.

"So, that's how it is. How about we trade information?" She smiled as she saw the interest spark in his face. His face was nearly unreadable through the helmet, but he was probably exaggerating the expression anyway. He wanted out of this situation, naturally. "You were my bounty. Lots of people want you dead, you know."

"Obviously," he snapped. There was a light flinch, as if he was expecting another burst of added pressure on his already bruised ribs. Instead, the pressure lessened. He started to sit up as her foot lifted away. "Heh, I knew you were softer than you looked."

That earned him a solid kick in the face. His cracked visor split completely, shards of one side falling away. Falcon cursed, wiping blood from his mouth with an already stained glove.

"If I was as amoral as most bounty hunters out there, you'd be dead already. Something tells me you agree with that philosophy."

'Something' being his reputation, he guessed. Unlike her, there was plenty of information out there about him, though mostly only what he wanted out there. She was very much an enigma, working largely in uncharted space.

"I'll let you decide. So, you're implying we've been had."

"Not necessarily. We were each hired fairly by an interested party. Mine simply implied whatever would make me more likely to bite," she clarified.

"Yeah, same here. Although, mine showed me footage of you doing some pretty awful things."

"Dark Samus, most likely."

"What?"

"That was probably Dark Samus. Evil clone."

"Oh, gotcha. I've got one of those."

"...That would explain some things. Anyway, I think we have a lot of talking to do. Just remember, I have my eye on you."

"Well, duh."


	4. Media sensationalism

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Captain Falcon thinks the latest gossip headline is hilarious. Samus does not.

**"Have you read the newspaper stories about my wife?"**

Falcon was grinning from ear to ear, shaking with barely contained mirth. Samus responded to her friend with a completely blank face, then snatched the paper from his hand. On the front were several pictures of the two of them, followed by the headline, _"CAPTAIN FALCON AND HIS MYSTERIOUS GIRLFRIEND"_

Samus was still for a few moments, staring at the page as if it would burn up under her gaze alone. When that failed, she crumpled it with one swift motion and threw it at Falcon's head. "First of all, why did you think it was necessary to use the word 'wife'? Second of all, _where the hell did this come from?_ "

Ohh, she was seething. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as he did. Falcon just started laughing harder when the paper bounced off his helmet. "Well, you know how the media is."

"No, I really don't. I stay away from it as much as I can."

Falcon's laughter died down a little, though a few small chuckles escaped. "Well, I can see why. You just gotta learn to roll with stuff like this. They'll run out of material eventually and move on to... I dunno, how many fat rolls Samurai Goroh has, or something equally mindless."

Samus huffed indignantly. "These people seriously don't have anything better to do? This is almost as useless as racing."

Now it was Falcon's turn to be ticked. He pouted as Samus laughed, and they agreed to drop the conversation before it could escalate.


	5. The bitterest rivalry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ridley shows his face, and Samus flies into a rage. Captain Falcon learns something new about his mysterious friend.

**"Move away from the door and let me at him."**

Captain Falcon hesitated at the tone of Samus's voice. He'd heard her angry before, but he'd never heard such pure hatred. He swallowed hard; he was easily a match for her without her armor, but when she was in her power suit he'd be at a significant disadvantage. He wasn't sure she could even see him any more. "Samus, you need to calm down and think. Killing him like this will just make you a monster like him."

"Oh, don't give me that!" she spat, advancing threateningly. "Ridley murdered my parents. In cold blood. In front of me. _When I was six._ "

Falcon flinched. He had not known that, and the venom in her voice was terrible. "I... Look, he deserves it, sure, but he should be brought to proper justice. You shouldn't kill unless you need to." He saw the tension build in her stance and knew he couldn't hold her back any more. "If you lose control, you might not be able to think clearly. You could get hurt, killed!" He was pleading now. He never lowered himself to acting like this, but Samus was a friend. Possibly the first true friend he'd had. She wasn't listening. He could see the arm cannon prepping for something. He didn't want to find out what, but he stood firm. She wouldn't kill him, surely? She'd hurt him to get him out of the way, but surely she valued their friendship as much as he did?

A missile screamed down the hall toward him, and he jumped aside quickly enough to avoid a direct hit, but the explosion was more than enough to send him sprawling.

"Samus--!" he cried, starting to sit up. He could do no more, however, as a bright blue beam streaked toward him, shrouding him in a deep, deep cold and freezing him to the spot. He could only watch as his friend charged through the door, crying out for her enemy's blood.


	6. The greatest mystery of all

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Samus comes to a realization. As usual, Captain Falcon is insufferable.

**"For some reason, I'm attracted to you."**

Samus wasn't looking at him, and seemed to refuse to acknowledge what she'd just said. This prompted Captain Falcon to laugh out loud. "Well, for one thing, I am incredibly attractive," he suggested.

Samus gave him a disgruntled look. "And that ego is why I say, 'for some reason'. You're such a self-absorbed pig."

"A _sexy_ self-absorbed pig?"

"...Yeah."

Falcon turned around for a moment as a thug turned the corner into the alley they'd fled to. A single shot from his laser pistol and the guy dropped, clutching his leg. "See, I'm useful too!"

"Shut up, or I'll take it back."


	7. You know how suggestive that sounds, right?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Samus isn't terribly impressed by F-Zero. Captain Falcon wants to change her mind.

**"Did you enjoy yourself last night?"**

Samus started slightly, glancing over at Captain Falcon. How did he do that? She wasn't sure if it was the bustle of Mute City or his own skills, but he managed to approach without her noticing about half the time. "What, the race? I guess so. Watching a bunch of cars go around a track really fast gets a little dull after a while, but it was something to do."

Falcon shook his head. "I can't believe you. How can you not get the incredible excitement of F-Zero? Even the crowd around you didn't get you pumped?"

"No. I don't like crowds, anyway." Samus shrugged. "I just don't get the big deal about it."

Even with his eyes covered, Samus could see the look of disbelief on his face. "I have to get you to see the light somehow."

Samus raised an eyebrow at him. "Oh, enlighten me. Surely, there's a massive vacuum in my life that can only be filled by mindless adrenaline junkies in screaming metal deathtraps."

"Please, only _amateurs_ drive screaming metal deathtraps. I drive a humming, light-metal alloy deathtrap." He grinned as she actually let a chuckle escape at that. "Tell you what. I'll get you behind the controls of an F-Zero machine, maybe even get you in a low-level race. Then you'll see."

Samus laughed. "You know what? You have a deal. Maybe I'll even get a chance to show you up at your own game."

Now it was Falcon's turn to laugh. "In your dreams! Hey, you free today? We can head over to one of my test tracks, I'll show you the ropes."

"Sure. It's a date."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I specifically chose to use this prompt because I thought the idea of using it for something other than its... rather obvious implications was hilarious.


	8. Private lessons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Captain Falcon's attempt to teach Samus about F-Zero is going poorly. He tries something else, and Samus begins to understand.

**"It looks like you're in trouble there. Can I help?"**

It was several long seconds before Samus acknowledged the Captain's question. When she did, it was with a glower that could have melted through both of their cockpits.

Her first day of F-Zero training was not going well. " _'Can I help?'_ Can I help, he says, after offering to teach me how to drive these stupid pieces of garbage and then just charging off into the distance! I don't know, Falcon, _can_ you help?" she cried, glaring at the dashboard with indignant disbelief.

Falcon's shit-eating grin only faded slightly at her tirade. "Hey, hey there, don't go calling perfectly good machines garbage. Even if that old prototype you're driving is hardly worthy of the Grand Prix."

"Okay, that's it." Samus hit the release for the hatch and jumped out, striding toward the main building of Falcon's training complex without even offering him a glance. "All you've convinced me of is that this race is a waste of time."

The Blue Falcon's engines hummed behind her, and Samus braced herself for the shockwave that would pass when the vehicle whizzed past her. No doubt the Captain had just shrugged it off and decided to continue the race.

To her surprise, the blue blur instead came to a stop in front of her, the hatch popping open a moment later.

A yellow, gloved hand reached out toward her from inside. "All right, it wasn't fair to just throw you onto the track without any help. But there's room for two in here. Wanna feel what a _real_ F-Zero machine can do?"

Samus hesitated for a moment, considering snubbing her friend out of pure spite, but his face showed no hint of contempt or smugness, and his voice was entirely genuine. She knew he was more than capable of hiding his emotions, but she also knew that her heightened Chozo senses made it nearly impossible to mask thoughts from her entirely. It occurred to her that this was possibly the one thing in Falcon's life that he really, truly enjoyed. She allowed her face to soften, perhaps even lifting the corner of her mouth in a ghost of a smile. "Oh, all right." She reached out to accept his outstretched hand, and was immediately dragged into the cockpit with unexpected force.

The hatch hissed shut above them, and Falcon gently set her hands on the yoke in front of them, his own larger hands resting on top. "You ready? I'm only gonna hold back for one lap, after that you better keep up."

Samus let out a short laugh. "I hope you're a better teacher than you've been indicating so far today." Her voice was even, despite her racing heart. She wasn't sure what it was, but being here in the eagerly rumbling Blue Falcon and sitting so close to the Captain, it seemed his enthusiasm was contagious. At least, that's what she told herself. "Well? What are we waiting for?"

She'd barely finished speaking when the engines roared to life and they accelerated impossibly fast down the track. The controls weren't exactly intuitive, but the Blue Falcon responded to its pilot as if they were one. Samus felt each twitch of the yoke, every finesse of the controls, and found she started to pick up the basics. She laughed as they entered the second lap, the sheer exhilaration taking hold of her. "You better look out, Cap, I'm gonna have you making a run for your money in the next race!"

Falcon laughed right along with her. "You wish! But I'm looking forward to the day you do."

He felt her responding to the controls along with him. "See? Told you you'd like it!"

Samus wanted to respond, but she had to admit that she really was having fun.

She wondered if they'd allow Chozo tech in the race vehicles.


	9. Villains doing villain things, villainously

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Captain Falcon receives a mysterious summons. It's not actually all that mysterious, but he appreciates the attempt.

**"Midnight, on the bridge. Come alone."**

Captain Falcon scowled at the recording device in his hand. He'd played it numerous times, scoured it for clues -- fingerprints, residue, anything -- but he'd found nothing besides those six words. Still, he could guess what it was about. It was obviously a message from Black Shadow, and it was probably regarding the recent disappearances of several higher-profile F-Zero racers. Falcon guessed it was just a ploy to lure him in, but it wasn't as if he could refuse. Besides, he'd dealt with that big dumb cow before. He was formidable, but not unbeatable.

The Blue Falcon glided smoothly down the road, speeding for the bridge. The Captain remained alert, but made sure to keep his speed and maneuvering steady. Black Shadow probably knew that Falcon would have his guard up, but Falcon would rather be underestimated if at all possible.

The first sign that something was amiss was that there were no vehicles on the bridge. No people, either. So, was it to be an ambush, or some other trap? Falcon switched his display to show thermal signatures, and to his alarm he saw several -- under the bridge. Near the supports. _Oh._

Some other trap it was, then, with property damage to boot. Falcon sure wouldn't put it past Black Shadow to pull something like this. Well, he was halfway across, so there was no point in turning around. Falcon opened the throttle all the way and hit the boost. The Blue Falcon surged forward, soaring over the crest just as the bridge blew. The vehicle was airborne for a moment before the shockwave sent it tumbling end over end, debris pinging off its hull. It skittered across the pavement beyond the bridge, skidding to a stop on its side and facing back toward the bridge. Well, so much for the fresh paint job.

Falcon heard the roar of F-Zero caliber engines nearby, and knew Black Shadow was making his move. Time to get out of there. He restarted the engines, launching toward the ruined bridge and scraping away at the Blue Falcon's wing some more before the gravity drive engaged and slowly pulled it upright. Captain Falcon yanked the machine sideways, skidding and changing direction just before reaching the bridge. Looking at his external displays, it seemed both the Black Bull and the Blood Hawk were giving chase. So much for the pretense of negotiations. Falcon clicked on an open frequency transmission. "What, not even gonna stop to say hi?" he called.

"If you don't die tonight, someone else will!" That was Blood Falcon. Hard to believe that prick was made from the same DNA as the Captain.

"So, you _do_ have the missing racers, then? Or are you just going to mow down some innocent bystanders?" Falcon kept talking while he veered off toward the nearby forest. Well, more like a glorified grove, but it would be unoccupied, and that was his goal. "Whatever your bargaining chip is this time, it's not gonna work. You know that as well as I do."

There was a laugh over the radio. "Oh? Well, what if I told you it was someone very close to you?" This voice was more collected, dark and oil-smooth. Black Shadow.

Falcon stiffened a little, running through the short list of people he cared about. There wasn't really anybody he deemed 'very close', or at least nobody within reach of Black Shadow. "You're bluffing," he stated. Whether the villain was or not, this would probably prompt him to clarify.

"Bluffing? Oh, you wish. Hmm, blonde hair? Lovely shape, too," Blood Falcon jeered.

For a moment, Falcon was shocked. Enough so that he accidentally smashed through a small oak. Then he shook his head and started to laugh. "Wait. _That's_ your threat? You don't know Samus very well, do you?"

Nice timing, too. The Blue Falcon burst from the trees, and the Captain wheeled it around to face his pursuers. "Well, now I know there's nothing to worry about. This just isn't your night."

Meanwhile, in an old warehouse on the outskirts of town, Samus nonchalantly punched out the last remaining guard on her way out of the building. A gaggle of awestruck, formerly kidnapped racers followed not far behind.


	10. Consequences and confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Captain Falcon doesn't value his life very highly because he thinks nobody cares. Samus can't put into words how wrong he is.

**"Don't you know how much you're loved?"**

Samus gripped his shoulders, lifting him slightly from the ground and glaring down into his face, ignoring the desperation that crept into her voice.

Falcon laughed weakly, rolling his head to the side. "Loved? By who? I ain't got any family, and I don't know anyone who considers me a friend besides you. I'm just a celebrity, that's all. That's not love."

The woman felt frustration surge within her. She let him go, her hands instead moving to clutch at her head. "I can't believe you! You just don't get it!" She shook her head, then snatched up one of his hands in her own. The glove was torn. "I don't care if you believe Blood Falcon is your responsibility or some nonsense, doing that was foolhardy! It was a clear trap, and you didn't care!"

The racer simply shrugged. "Didn't have much to lose. He was causing a scene and hurting people and I needed to draw his attention elsewhere," he stated. His gaze wandered off to the side, where the wreckage of both the Blue Falcon and the Blood Hawk lay scattered and smoldering. His helmet was long gone, somewhere among the debris. "Didn't expect such a bold move, either. Using an EMP, cleverer than I gave him credit for. Trying to smash straight through the Falcon, now that one I kinda could expect..." he mumbled.

Samus gripped his shoulders again, forcing him to refocus on her. "What were you thinking?! What are you saying?! You're lying here by the wreckage of your beloved car -- don't correct me, dammit -- and just muttering about how your enemy duped you while you bleed! You need to stop this, people care about you!"

Falcon scoffed. "Nobody cares about me."

" _I care!_ " Samus shouted, finally. "You are loved! I don't care how many enemies or how few friends you think you have, or what you think of your fans! You're loved!"

The racer again turned his head away, starting to feel the effect of his friend's pain. "No, you don't understand--"

Samus didn't let him finish. One hand swept up behind Falcon's head, the other wrapping around his shoulders and scooping him up into a passionate kiss. His words faltered immediately. After a moment, his tension melted away with them, and he brought one arm up to rest on her hip, the other gently grasping at her neck. He softly returned the kiss, and Samus could feel the bottled up emotions pouring from him as they embraced.

After what felt like a glorious, sweet eternity, Samus pulled away. She tightened her grip on the Captain and tucked her head up against his shoulder. "I love you," she whispered. "I love you, and I don't want to watch you hurt yourself. Let me help."

She had never seen him cry. Even now, he refused to show it entirely, but she could hear it. She could feel it, the way he trembled against her. It occurred to her that this poor man, this enormously successful racer, bounty hunter, and celebrity, was impossibly lonely. He truly believed nobody cared. She felt him pull her closer, his huge arms carefully encircling her thin frame.

The emergency vehicle arrived not long after. Samus had left Falcon's side just long enough to find his helmet and put it on him. They found her kneeling by her friend, one hand on his helmeted head and another on his hand. She accompanied him into the ambulance and refused to leave his side until he was discharged a few days later. She no longer cared about the rumors and the media sensationalism. She would stay. She would make sure Falcon knew he was not alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nobody:  
> Me: Here, have some Falcon/Samus angst!

**Author's Note:**

> You know, I didn't realize how coherently these all hold together until now. With the exception of the first being pure F-Zero and the second and third ones being mutually exclusive, this sort of accidentally forms a narrative progression. How about that?


End file.
